**This is an unedited preview of the first chapter of my upcoming book. Working title: Nighttime Fables Some of Us Adults Need to Read. ** Now, listen here. Rufus was a good dog. He was a very good dog. All of the other dogs thought so. He could catch his tail in only a few... Continue Reading →
I pretend that it’s okay for you to watch soap operas when I’m in the room. I do my job as a daughter. Momma, if you love me, you’ll free the elephants and, in doing so, free me of my existential crisis.
If you are here after searching for a way to speed-write an essay, you don't want me to go into the long google-friendly explanation about how my great-great grandfather imparted this wisdom to me as a tot. Which is good, because he didn't. I just teach college and have done a lot of it myself. Here's how you write a ten-page essay in five hours:
When I was a teenager, I said some really dumb things. Some of them didn't really affect anyone, but some of them were completely prejudiced and racist. Some of the terrible things that I said then, I was proud of at the time. The tiny Peter Pan in my head shouting "oh the cleverness of... Continue Reading →
Ah, yes, the American Millennial. Here, you can see you can see her grazing in her natural habitat. Observe as she slumps into the chair and devours a single cup of grapes. Fascinating isn’t it?
I sat. I sat in a red auditorium seat looking up. Notes were sprawled across my legs and the seats beside me. Our Town would open in a few days and I needed to finish updating my paperwork before I left that night. Orchestrating scene changes was proving to be a nightmare, but my notes were useless in those moments.
Either grant me your fearlessness or grant me your wings. Because never being either lifted or crushed is the most crushing thing I can imagine being listed as a cause of death. “She ended with no end"
If you’ve never watched/read/played Pokemon before, you may not know what a magikarp is. Lucky you. A magikarp is pokemon that looks exactly like what a fish would look like if fish could watch Watership Down.