How to Write the Best Fanfic

So I have been browsing the wonderful World Wide Web searching for answers .answers to life’s greatest questions .like what is the meaning of life and also what is in hot dogs and also how do you write the world’s best fanfiction .so I turned to those glimmering beacons of fanfiction devianart an Wattpad And I analyze every fanfic I could an I distill them down into the most essential elements so that you deer reader have everything you need to write the perfect fan fiction .

The best grammar

if you want to write fanfiction you need to use the best possible grammar the best possible mechanics the best possible syntax now your English teacher is may try to tell you what the best writing looks like but I promise you they are wrong nobody talks like that and your fan fiction doesn’t need to be like that you don’t need to diagram sentence is you don’t need to use commas where they’re supposed to be used you don’t need to know what a; Does what you do need to do is right in at least at minimum 675 word run on sentence is it keeps your audience guessing it gives them something to look forward to you know the end of that sentence and it really sets up this president do you have spent time thinking about in mulling over your brilliant work of art .

you need no fewer than 2 or maybe 3 misspellings of the main characters name that look oddly Freudian you need to miss spell the word assess at least once and also whatever that other word is everyone else misspells I’ll go back and type that in

Clothing

Proper fanfic is all about imagery but your audience already knows what the setting looks like you’re using a setting built by someone else what you get to add to the story is the clothing it is your your duty as a fanfic writer to make certain that every single characters outfit is described in exquisite detail every time they enter the room it doesn’t matter if that actually makes sense it doesn’t matter if they’re closed change when they walk into another room 2 pages later what matters is that the reader knows exactly what they’re wearing on every inch of their body and how it’s positioned if you want to add extra angst be sure most of your good characters are dressed in the 2002 gothic style used by Danny Phantom um in all of your bad characters are wearing pink and pleated skirts and hugs it’s very ascential that some of them be wearing uggs

Morphing Sets

Okay, listen, regular writers are beholden to the rules of their world, but fanfic writers are superior. They are above that limited view of convention. In a good fanfiction, sets morph at any whim. Yes, your main character started out getting dressed in her bedroom, but, by the end of her one line of dialog, poof she’s fully clothed in the middle of the Hogwarts cafeteria. This is called the element of surprise. Your reader never knows where they are, so you can attack them with any bit of new information, and they won’t be able to process. It keeps them fresh.

Long words

Fanfiction is the perfect place to study for the vocab section of the SAT or GRE or whatever test you may have coming. Why? Because fanfic thrives on big words. You don’t even have to use them right, you can just pepper them in like coriander. Is your character crepuscular, curvaceous, and cornucopical? Same. Be sure you use every one of those words in the same sentence. Ignore the fact that the third word doesn’t exist.

Adverbs and adjectives

Nouns. Verbs. Regular writers let these lonely darlings sadly live lonely lives in lonely worlds. Nouns and verbs never want to be extra alone. Why would you do this? If you see a very sad noun, throw it an adjective. Sure, “the cat sat down,” conveys meaning, but, “the bright-orange-with-yellow-spots angry Persian cat quickly and madly sat in the downward direction,” shows that you know many words. Your readers will be very impressed and will give you lots of money.

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